This year’s winter solstice gave me the opportunity to experience fear- the kind that crawls down your throat, sucks the air out of your lungs, and grips your heart with an icy claw.
I was helpless. Once again, life pulled me into that deep recess. I wondered it it was better to channel my inner warrior queen, with her blood-stained headdress and war paint, to fight my way out with violent, valiant courage? Or was it better to reach in and rock my fear like a frightened child until it fell asleep in my arms? Or simply breathe and whisper silent prayers on chapped lips and stay ever so still?
I’m not sure of the answer, but I made it through. Sleep found me and I survived the longest night of the year. Despite the stretched-out hours of darkness, morning was warmer than usual and I embraced the daylight with my entire being.
For now, the fear has scampered away to find a place to hide in the shadows. The Earth is cycling back towards the sun, the center. The days will now become imperceptibly yet tangibly longer. Hope lives again.