the gift of the new year

Its a new year. 2013. In light of my recent loss I thought this holiday would be more bitter than sweet, full of remorse, grief, the sensation of happiness slipping through my fingers and sliding away.

But here’s the miracle in all of this: I felt joy. My heart was full with hope and gratitude.  I’m ready for a new beginning, for what this year and beyond has tucked beneath her wings. I know that I am stronger, my relationship is stronger. I am ready to reap rewards after the long slog of 2012, to let the old fall to the floor like a chiffon dress and step into the light.  And you know what? Because of my experiences over the last few years, I can find the beauty in anything.  Even sadness.  Even heartbreak.  So no matter what is in store for me in 2013, I have the confidence that I will be okay.  I can soar through any storm and come out on the other side with flapping wings shining gossamer in the sunshine.

Thanks to all the kind souls who have given me support on the written (typed?) page this year, who have reached out in a spirit of compassion and understanding.  From connecting me with my mother’s high school boyfriend to discovering kindred spirits with similar life experiences scattered across the globe, I appreciate the power of this little blog to bring me joy, wisdom, and the sense of being part of a greater web of understanding.  I’ve learned and am learning from all of you. Thank you for reading, for commenting, and for broadening my world.  I couldn’t do this without you.

For those of you perusing blogs on your holiday from work, here are my most popular blog posts from 2012. Enjoy, and thanks to the statisticians at WordPress.

1. appreciate the present moment

2. a mother’s love


4. the return

5. my mother’s autopsy

So, Happy New Year! Stay safe, stay grateful, and (if you will) keep reading. 🙂


14 thoughts on “the gift of the new year

  1. runningonsober

    “Because of my experiences over the last few years, I can find the beauty in anything. Even sadness. Even heartbreak.”

    I. Love. This. It’s so true. It reminds me of my favorite quote (from movie American Beauty): “It’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world.”

    Thanks for posting links to your past posts. That’s a great idea, and I may do the same instead of posting the full report.

    I look forward to getting to know you this year. -Christy

  2. Jacqueline Lawson

    I am so happy to read this post!!!! Yay for joy!! I believe, without a doubt, that 2013 will be a good year for you. Yes, you will be okay and you’ll also continue to inspire and enlighten with your words. Thank you!!

      1. Jacqueline Lawson

        I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but last week I moved my site. It’s still… just hosted elsewhere. I hope you’ll stop by now and then! 🙂

    1. bornbyariver Post author

      I am honored with the nomination. I’m about 6 months behind on award acceptances, so it might be awhile before I get around to it, but thank you so much for your readership and support.


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